Three Steps For Growing Self-Esteem

Having a healthy sense of self-esteem provides us with a strong foundation for a happy and fulfilling life. For those with low self-esteem, there are three strategies you can use to increase it:

The first strategy is taking action to develop Competence in your relationships, in your work, or in your abilities. Taking concrete action in one of these areas on a regular basis gives you clear evidence of your ability to improve and learn and grow. Your self-esteem is enhanced from the knowledge that you are taking positive action and also because of the progress you make as a result of your efforts.

The second strategy is in the area of Contribution. By engaging in an action that is primarily or solely intended to enhance the well-being of another person, or of other people, animals, or the environment, we are making a positive difference in the world and giving ourselves reason to value and respect ourselves more. We are also more likely to be valued and appreciated by others, which also increases our self-esteem.

The third step is in the area of practicing Compassion towards self and others. This is the opposite of berating or condemning ourselves for our flaws and shortcomings. This means reminding ourselves that while we and everyone else has flaws, these flaws do not define us or mean that we are bad. They are better viewed as part of what makes us human. This is not to suggest that we should ignore our flaws and shortcomings. It is simply to say that we must be willing to have compassion for ourselves and others even as we acknowledge our flaws. To do otherwise is to demoralize ourselves, render ourselves less capable of improving our self-esteem, and less capable of taking steps to correct or overcome those things in ourselves which we most wish to change.

Competence, Contribution, and Compassion – the three Cs. By taking action in these three areas we bring out the best version of ourselves and maximize our ability to grow our self-esteem.