Three Steps For Growing Self-Esteem
January 14, 2017The Power of Forgiveness
There is a practice which has great value and power when it comes to the quality of our lives. It is the practice of forgiveness. When someone acts insensitive, selfish, petty, or mean towards us with their words or deeds, it is both common and justifiable to feel hurt and angry. It is often tempting to express this hurt and anger towards the other person, and often difficult to let go of these negative feelings. However, the moment we forgive someone who slights or provokes us, that person loses their power to further harm us. We can then move on to living a better quality of life. So what can help us let go of hurt and anger and turn towards forgiveness?
A valuable first step is to take a deep breath, allow some time to pass, and then to decide whether holding onto or expressing your feelings is likely to lead to your desired outcome. Sometimes when we express our feelings, the other person is unwilling or unable to accept responsibility for their actions. If that is the case, it might be better to forgive and step away. Reminding ourselves that those who need the most have the least to give can sometimes help us to explain or understand the negative behavior of others. Recognizing the other person’s limitations can sometimes help us to feel less angry and resentful and more forgiving.
Another step we can take when we feel angry is to ask ourselves what is the best version of ourselves that we wish to express in our daily life. Most of us would see our best version of ourselves as positive, generous, and tolerant of others. Few people would say they are at their best when they are angry. In contrast, practicing forgiveness of the shortcomings of others is a powerful way of being at our best. It shows recognition of our shared humanity and it allows us to feel good about ourselves as human beings.
There is a practice which has great value and power when it comes to the quality of our lives. It is the practice of forgiveness. When someone acts insensitive, selfish, petty, or mean towards us with their words or deeds, it is both common and justifiable to feel hurt and angry. It is often tempting to express this hurt and anger towards the other person, and often difficult to let go of these negative feelings. However, the moment we forgive someone who slights or provokes us, that person loses their power to further harm us. We can then move on to living a better quality of life. So what can help us let go of hurt and anger and turn towards forgiveness?
A valuable first step is to take a deep breath, allow some time to pass, and then to decide whether holding onto or expressing your feelings is likely to lead to your desired outcome. Sometimes when we express our feelings, the other person is unwilling or unable to accept responsibility for their actions. If that is the case, it might be better to forgive and step away. Reminding ourselves that those who need the most have the least to give can sometimes help us to explain or understand the negative behavior of others. Recognizing the other person’s limitations can sometimes help us to feel less angry and resentful and more forgiving.
Another step we can take when we feel angry is to ask ourselves what is the best version of ourselves that we wish to express in our daily life. Most of us would see our best version of ourselves as positive, generous, and tolerant of others. Few people would say they are at their best when they are angry. In contrast, practicing forgiveness of the shortcomings of others is a powerful way of being at our best. It shows recognition of our shared humanity and it allows us to feel good about ourselves as human beings.
